Richard Dresselhaus,
San Diego First Assembly:
Sadly, many people blight their futures by careless and sinful actions in their youth. One of the occasions that often provides the opportunity for this waywardness is the dating relationship. How many times over 40 years of pastoral work have I discovered that the roots of misdirected and purposeless living go back to improper and compromising sexual encounters in a dating relationship. That behavior distorts moral focus and, unless dealt with through forgiveness, can so mar a person's life that the future is never what God had intended it to be. If we were to project a "model of godly dating," it would have the following characteristics: 1. A relationship only between two committed followers of Jesus Christ. 2. Biblical guidelines in place that would disallow improper sexual expression. 3. A sincere seeking after the will of God as to the future of that relationship. 4. The consistent practice of the Biblical pattern for moral and ethical purity. With divorce rates at nearly 50 percent, and even intact relationships often far from fulfilling, we need to look at the dating relationship in a far more serious and discerning way. I have often said: "Marriage determines the future direction of one's life." It is true. Marry right - life is right. Marry wrong - life is wrong. Wise and godly people will require of themselves the highest level of commitment to cautious, wise and righteous practices in the dating relationship.

Pastor Reginald Blackmon,
Latter Rain Ministries, Imperial Beach:
Praise God, I do believe there is a dating role model! Though the Bible was not written with a Western mindset, I do believe that if we follow certain guidelines and avoid particular pitfalls, our time spent dating will be a successful one. First and most important is to stay accountable. If you don't want to change, then don't make yourself accountable. Double dating is an excellent idea. Second of all, avoid the "what's next syndrome." What is it, you ask? Well it goes like this: You hold hands. What's next, you hug. What's next, you kiss. What's next . . . (for the sake of content I'll forgo the details). Next, let's expose the "I'm grown" syndrome. In many "Christian" relationships we avoid spiritual counsel because we believe that because "we're grown" that we don't need help. Should being grown make you less or more responsible? Last and not least, it is of my opinion that if you're not ready to get married, then you're not ready to date. I do know and understand that in our society today, it is suggested that you're incomplete until you're married. However, I say unto you, that God created you whole, separate and unique. God bless you!