Deliberate Dreams

What can you do as a couple to make your pursuits more effective? Be deliberate. If left unchecked, the husband can become more and more focused on his career and spends increasing numbers of hours in the pursuit of financial success. Meanwhile, the wife can have more and more of the responsibilities of the home/ and or of work and home. The end result is that she feels taken advantage of and he feels unappreciated. Nobody grows closer to people that take advantage of him or her and make him or her feel unappreciated.

A couple without goals will either live a very simple existence so this cycle never starts or they will see the slow and steady deterioration of their love. Couples with goals they agree on will find their achievements make them more interesting people who consistently have new material to talk about.

So what types of goals does a couple need to actively set in order to maximize achievement without eliminating intimacy? In order to maintain a balanced life, it is helpful to write goals in four major life areas. Write goals that will help you take another “STEP” forward. You’ll want to develop:

Your Spiritual Life

Your Team

Your Energy

Your Productivity

Your Spiritual Life: This area includes goals that build a closer walk with God. For example, a daily personal devotional time with God, Bible studies, church attendance, verses you’d like to memorize, and growth activities such as retreats, conferences, Christian radio, and books you’d like to read. When you are connected to God, your perspective is renewed, and your decision-making skills sharpen because you will be thinking more like God.

Your Team: Included in this section are goals that will build into your significant relationships, like marriage, family and close personal friends. One author recommends that we prioritize our lives by who will cry at our funeral. When you maintain healthy relationships, then you will have more emotional stability to tackle life. Your motivation for life will increase as your relationships are strengthened. This is where you would divide home responsibilities so that the stuff of everyday life does not rob your desire for one another.

Your Energy: To maintain a high level of energy you must manage the areas of life that are of importance to you as an individual. This will include your personal finances, emotional well-being, health, or social life. It will also include those activities that are vital to you as an individual like hobbies, sports, reading, leisure activities and areas of study or crafts.

Your Productivity: This area includes goals in your career, education and ministry (both public and personal.) What type of work do you want to pursue? What position do you want to attain to in that field? What type of education do you need to fulfill these pursuits? Who are the people you would like to personally influence for Christ? How would you like to use your gifts in your local church ministry?

For more information of achieving together as a couple, pick up our book, Men are like Waffles, Women are like Spaghetti (Harvest House).

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Pam and Bill Farrel are international speakers and best selling authors. Their newest book is Why Men and Women Act The Way They Do! They can be reached at www.masterfulliving.com.