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 My oldest son is approaching
the age where we had previously agreed to allow him to date. The
more I think about it, though, the more the whole idea concerns
me. It seems that even in the best of dating situations, the negatives
exceed the positives. I can’t help but feel that I’m
setting my son up for failure. Several of my friends have adopted
the concept of “courtship” rather than dating. Could
you please explain this idea to me, and suggest which of the two
arrangements you favor?
Simply
put, the “courtship” concept is a reaction to the dating
model that is thought by many to be unhealthy. Dating couples go
through a series of short-term and often unsatisfying relationships
over a period of five or 10 years or longer. As such, they are being
taught to flit from one relationship to another like a honeybee
buzzing from flower to flower. Wouldn’t they be more inclined
later to bail out on a marriage partner when bored or frustrated?
Dating
also encourages sexual familiarity and experimentation. It isn’t
difficult to understand why an increasing number of parents feel
this traditional model undermines commitment, exclusivity and permanence
in marriage.
The
courtship model, by contrast, seeks to postpone emotional and physical
entanglements until they occur with the probable husband or wife.
The family is very supportive in helping to choose that special
individual for a serious courtship when the time is right. Until
then, continued...
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