Focus on the Family with
Dr. Dobson

My oldest son is approaching the age where we had previously agreed to allow him to date. The more I think about it, though, the more the whole idea concerns me. It seems that even in the best of dating situations, the negatives exceed the positives. I can't help but feel that I'm setting my son up for failure. Several of my friends have adopted the concept of "courtship" rather than dating. Could you please explain this idea to me, and suggest which of the two arrangements you favor?
     Simply put, the "courtship" concept is a reaction to the dating model that is thought by many to be unhealthy. Dating couples go through a series of short-term and often unsatisfying relationships over a period of five or 10 years or longer. As such, they are being taught to flit from one relationship to another like a honeybee buzzing from flower to flower. Wouldn't they be more inclined later to bail out on a marriage partner when bored or frustrated? Dating also encourages sexual familiarity and experimentation. It isn't difficult to understand why an increasing number of parents feel this traditional model undermines commitment, exclusivity and permanence in marriage. The courtship model, by contrast, seeks to continued...