Wives in Prayer groups making a difference one marriage at a time

By SIMONE CARR

Wives, here is a new idea for a Father’s Day present for your husband: Give him the gift of prayer. Not so new? Of course, we all pray for our spouses, but think again. We are talking about a serious commitment, and we are absolutely not talking about the “change-him-Lord” type of prayers.

Prayer is something we can all do, on our own, in our own “closet.” Still, commitment is easier when done with others who are not going to be so quick to allow us all the excuses we regularly accept from ourselves.

That’s what Tami Chelew had in mind when God first gave her the idea of forming a women’s group specifically devoted to prayer for their husbands. “God spoke to my heart to pray with other like-minded women. OK Lord, but You bring the women,” said Tami, who had been married only four years at that time.

The very next day, a friend from church called her with the same idea. It was the confirmation Tami needed, and the two women had their first meeting in Tami’s living room. The following week, another woman joined them, and the group continued to grow.

The national and even international success of her initiative, now known as Wives in Prayer (WIP), was the farthest thing from Tami’s mind at that time. As her group began to grow, so did her speaking engagements and responsibilities. She was invited to speak at churches and retreats, and saw the need of keeping in touch with group leaders by e-mail. She also produced a Prayer Guide for WIP meetings.

“I just sit back and watch the groups grow,” she said. Well, she doesn’t exactly just sit back. Since WIP’s start nine years ago, she has worked hard to give her group a godly direction. She looked for resources on prayer, and found that some books by Sylvia Gunther and Evelyn Christenson were particularly helpful. Gleaning ideas from those books, she created a particular format and a Prayer Guide for her meetings. When her ministry spread to other cities, she went to Fern Nichols, founder of Moms in Touch International (MITI) to draw from her experience. She also consulted Pam Farrel, author of Woman of Influence and Woman of Confidence.

“When Tami asked for a little bit of time so I could mentor her in some writing, speaking and leadership skills, I was glad to give it,” said Pam Farrel, who described her as a “small young woman with a huge heart for prayer.”

“She is a dynamic leader and I think WIP will grow to be a compliment to the already amazing and powerful ministry of MITI,” Pam said.

Tami’s hard work and diligence paid off. Today, WIP is a well-structured group, still expanding from church to church and home to home. The results are also encouraging. Wives everywhere are discovering the power of prayer and falling in love with their husbands all over again. There is excitement, which often overflows to other family members, so that the husbands and kids develop a heart for prayer as well.

Tami, who has been married 13 years and has two young daughters, prays that they will also become strong in prayer. “I was very impressed when Fern Nichols told me that all her grown children are now intercessors,” she said. “It’s important to model prayer.”

Both Tami and Fern live in Poway.

Tami described her meetings as “simplistic and intentional.” Women just get together to pray once a week, she explained. The meetings follow a format of praise, confession, thanksgiving and intercession. The intercessory part contains a few Scripture verses that are typed out with some blank spaces, which allows women to place their husband’s name in the scripture prayer and pray it back to the Lord. “This allows our prayers to be very personal and very powerful because it’s God’s words instead of ours,” she said. “As Isaiah 55 promises us, His word never returns void.”

Tami’s “Wives in Prayer” prayer guide includes a year’s worth of Scripture prayers on 52 different topics that our husband’s relate to such as his pressures, his walk with the Lord, his salvation, etc. Although WIP shares the same heart and even methods with MITI, Tami said that her meetings begin a little differently as they include a few worship songs. “Worship really helps us to get our eyes off of the cares of the day and unto the Lord,” she said.

The women share specific prayer requests, without saying anything that would be dishonoring to their husbands. “I always remind them that God hears unspoken prayers,” Tami continued.

Among the many answers to prayer, Tami recalled the story of a man who was told he had cancer and would not be able to have children. The WIP leader for that group wrote, “We prayed the Scripture prayers over him and specifically that God would heal his body and that God would bless them with being able to have children. At the end of the year, his wife was pregnant and his cancer was in remission. They now have two children and he has radically changed his diet and has been able to stay in remission.”

Other answers come more gradually. A woman married to a man whom a WIP leader described as “belligerent” and “very challenging” feared the dissolution of her family when both of her kids asked her to leave their dad since life at home was so miserable. After starting a WIP group at work, she started to see a change. “Although her husband is not yet saved, his emotions have been more stable and in control,” the same WIP leader said. “He is now open to go with her to Christian counseling and they are listening at home to audio tapes filled with God’s Word for their counseling homework. She now says she is more in love with her husband than ever before.” God indeed is in the business of restoring marriages.

Tami believes that one reason for WIP’s success is that women recognize the spiritual attack on Christian homes and families. They meet where they can, in homes, in churches, at work. Pam Farrel, who also runs a WIP group once a month for Ministry Minded Marriages at Valley Bible Church in San Marcos, said that she recognized from the beginning the vital importance of Tami’s ministry of getting wives to pray, and the need to be expanded worldwide. “With the divorce rate in the church hovering over 50% and knowing that couples who pray have less than a 1% divorce rate, prayer to me is the secret weapon,” she said.

For more information or to order a Wives in Prayer 52-Week Prayer Guide, contact Tami Chelew through e-mail: wivesinprayerministries@cox.net or phone her at (858)829-6074.