Ministry reaches out to individuals with chronic illness

By JUDY ERICKSON

Books telling how to die with dignity. Books listing formulas for being healed. That’s all Rancho Bernardo resident Lisa Copen found when she searched Christian bookstores for help after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis 13 years ago. There was nothing on how to deal with chronic illness. So, Copen started reaching out to fellow sufferers with the kind of encouragement she was seeking, and Rest Ministries was born.

In 1996, Copen started the service ministry for people who live with chronic illness or pain. The next year, it became a 501c3 nonprofit. What started with a photocopied newsletter handed to 15 friends has grown to reach about 2,500 people with her daily online devotionals. She has written about seven books on disabilities, and more than 2,000 people subscribe to her bi-monthly magazine, HopeKeepers, which was expected to hit newsstands last month.

Meanwhile, Copen felt the need for Christian support groups for people with chronic illnesses. From her online Bible study groups, about 280 localized HopeKeepers groups have sprung up, mostly in churches, in 41 states. In the hands-on version of the on-line groups, people can speak freely about their faith and their spiritual journeys and share encouragement for the extra difficulties that chronically ill people endure.

Those difficulties often include hurtful attitudes and remarks from churches and Christians. Copen read a newspaper ad for a speaker, which claimed that 80 percent of illness is caused by sin. “That’s so disheartening for people like me,” Copen said. “Some people pray and confess every sin for years and there’s so much guilt and shame. People need encouragement.”

Much of that encouragement comes as HopeKeepers groups use Copen’s books or Bible studies tailored for gatherings of people with chronic illness. Topics include depression, losing friendships, loss of control and fear. “We direct them back to the Word, so the group doesn’t become a complaint session,” Copen said.

Mosaic Moments which Copen wrote with about 20 other writers, is the most raw, and is read by a lot of people without illnesses. “Mosaic, as in broken pieces,” Copen said. “It’s kinda how we all feel. Like our life is shattered. Like God tripped and you fell off the shelf. But, He has other plans and you’ll be more beautiful.”

Another of Copen’s books, Why Can’t I Make People Understand helps ill people discover that they can’t, but that they can go on to find a new place with the Lord. It’s a hard book, Copen said, because it really goes after changing attitudes, such as anger against God because of the illness. “They think God can take it,” Copen said. “Yes, God can take it, but can you take it?” The book also deals with feeling of entitlement. “You get the attitude you’re so unique and precious and forget the rest of the world has problems, too,” Copen said.

Copen’s latest work, Beyond Casseroles: 505 Ways to Encourage a Chronically Ill Friend, shows how encouraging someone doesn’t take that much effort. Recently, a leader at her church told Copen she was praying for her. “I walked away feeling 10 pounds lighter,” Copen said. “I didn’t even know if she knew I was still around.”

Copen, now 36, feels obliged to tell every chronically ill person she sees at church: “I appreciate your getting here.” She knows that it requires getting up extra early to allow time to rest between stages of getting ready. Then, although they might have fixed themselves up to look fine, they might have to spend three days in bed to recuperate from Sunday morning.

Through her ministry, Copen has found that people with chronic illnesses are very well equipped for ministry. A lot of them have much to give and are eager to get back into ministry. “They send cards,” she said. “And they don’t say ‘Get Well Soon’ to someone who’s just been diagnosed with lupus.”

For example, Sue Schwartz, who served in the Vietnam War and has lived out of a car, is one of the women who sends out hundreds of cards to others with chronic illnesses. “She knows just what to say,” Copen said. “When I get something from her in the mail, I know it’s going to be good.”

However, Copen finds that the church often treats chronically ill people like someone we put to the side, like a big burden we all have to carry, instead of the source of wisdom they are.

“The Bible says if we go through suffering, we’ll gain wisdom,” Copen said, “But most people with our ministry see God’s unconditional blessing and a new level of intimacy with the Lord. We appreciate every moment of life because we realize it could be taken away at any time. There is strength and compassion. We’re learning a hug is better than most things, and we’re learning comfortable silence.” Besides, she quoted, “He who refreshes others will himself be refreshed.”

Although people really do see that God is working through their illnesses, Copen stresses the importance of encouraging people not to worship healing but to worship God, to express the desire of their heart but not go through every day fixating on healing.

Churches even mistakenly announce that meetings for people with chronic illnesses are a place for other church people to go to help, encourage and support the sufferers. However, the members of the meetings are there because they share mutual understanding and misunderstanding. They speak the same language and tell the same silly jokes. “They are encouraged,” Copen said, “so they want to become encouragers, so it flips around.”

Copen also sees that the Christian church is in stiff competition for chronically ill people because New Age churches advertise free rides for people who need them. “They are so easily swayed by folks who love them,” Copen said. “So it’s a real spiritual battle, and we need to get in there and fight.”

Although one out of every two Americans suffers from chronic illness or pain, ministry to people with disabilities probably will never enjoy the same priority as children’s ministry. Copen said that is sad because people with chronic illnesses and pain have so much strength to share. “Like Joni Eareckson Tada,” Copen said. “She’s glowing. I’ve seen others glowing, not on stage, but at home.”

Another challenge for the church is that although pastors are trained for hospital visits, there is very little training for them about chronic illnesses. A pastor at Copen’s church said that the ministry to people with chronic illnesses is the hardest ministry he or the church had ever started. People who want to participate don’t feel well enough to participate and some are housebound. Many come in sad, lonely and depressed. They don’t want to be on a prayer list because it would be for the rest of their lives. They don’t want to draw attention to themselves. But, they struggle. They have a lot of suicidal thoughts, and a higher hate of suicide than do those without chronic illness or pain.

Rest Ministries is run completely by volunteers, all outside of the San Diego area, some in Canada and Australia, some with two or three chronic illnesses. All are very well qualified in various areas, but have had to quit their jobs. For example, the receptionist, Kara Marks, lives in Oklahoma. Marks was a nurse for 15 years before having to give up her job because of her multiple sclerosis.

Copen’s qualifications include a degree in sociology and longtime work with Girl Scouts. She had always volunteered, too, especially with battered women and rape victims, and always had a heart to work with a 501C3 nonprofit. “But something was missing,” Copen said. “I never could say, ‘I’ve walked in your shoes.’ So, in a twisted way, I can say that now.”

After Copen finished her degree and got married she started going downhill physically. She had great interviews for jobs, but had to struggle to straighten out her legs just to get up to walk out. At least once she physically could not open the door.

“I ended up being a housewife, which I never wanted to be,” Copen remembered. “I had a briefcase full of things I wanted to do.” Instead, she was stuck on the couch for the first six months of marriage because she was flaring so badly, with her joints freezing up and swelling. “Ministry comes out of what your thorn is,” Copen said. “I figured out what my thorn is earlier in life than some people, so it gives me a different perspective.”

Copen and her husband, Joel, have an adopted son, Joshua, who is 2. “He keeps my spirits up,” Copen said. “You end up doing things you wouldn’t otherwise do. Kids are a real blessing. We waited a lot of years for him.”

Copen’s next dreams are to get to speak and write more, and to host a Rest Ministries conference, which people have been asking for, for years. She has people volunteering together for five years who have never met, only communicating by phone or e-mail. “I think it would be great to have them all standing in the same room and singing ‘Great is Thy Faithfulness,’ “ she mused. “The level of encouragement and challenge is unbelievable,” Copen said, “And they all love to serve.”

According to Copen, usually when people volunteer, they have something big happen, like a new illness or a husband losing his job. “Satan immediately tries to discourage them,” she said. “I tell them to see it for what it is. And most do see it for what it is, and grow stronger because of it instead of backing down.”